The 2018 Festival of Faith and Writing happened in Grand Rapids, MI, last week. I had the privilege of organizing a panel titled The Risk of Writing on Race—And Our Moral Obligation to Continue. I hoped that a handful of white folks would show up and that the four of us would share some of our experiences, give them space to ask questions, and encourage them to become more engaged.

My intentions clashed with People of Color’s lived reality because the workshop’s DNA was flawed. As Sandra Maria Van Opstal and Idelette McVicker helped me to understand in a post mortem, for any Person of Color in the room, the make-up of our panel (three white women, moderated by a Woman of Color), reinforced systemic racism. Furthermore, by dwelling too much on our experience, we failed to focus on People of Color’s experience.

If the goal of the workshop was to communicate to people who are white, If you want to get in there and speak or write about race, it’s going to be hard and messy. You are going to make mistakes, then we met the mark. Actually, we embodied it.

If the goal was to actually help dismantle systemic racism, we failed, and this is much more important. Idelette suggested that given the topic, the panel’s visual was traumatic to People of Color.

For this, for my failure to be more inclusive, for not understanding the ways that white privilege was at play, and for focusing the conversation around white experiences, I am deeply sorry and ask for forgiveness.

I hope—and pray—that my brothers and sisters will be able to extend grace and mercy to those of us who are trying, yet fumbling along. I’m sorry that even after 15 years of engagement, I still have so much to learn.

For more on this, topic, read this excellent post by Tamara Johnson over at The Witness.

I want to thank Sandra Maria Van Opstal and Idelette McVicker for taking the time to help me understand my missteps. You can read more of Sandra’s thoughts on this topic here. Thanks to Karen Gonzalez, Kathryn Freeman, Dorena Williamson, and Regina Robinson for reading and giving me feedback for this post. (They are in no way responsible for the content.)

See this link for MANY books authored by People of Color on topic.

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