Screen Shot 2017-05-26 at 8.47.45 AMAn interview with Dorcas Cheng-Tozun at Inc. Magazine.

Many entrepreneurs are so busy they feel like they aren’t able to invest in their marriages. How do you respond?

Most of us create long-term plans for our businesses but fail to do so for our marriages. If we want this relationship to survive and thrive, we need to envision where we want to be in five, ten, and twenty years, and then make intentional choices to move in that direction.

Maybe this means going to a marriage conference every year, reading a marriage book together, or prioritizing a weekend getaway. Obviously, there’s no formula, but intentionality and vision are key.

Additionally, both partners have to be willing to sacrifice. It’s not tenable for one partner to make all the sacrifices. By paying attention to inequitable dynamics and talking about them–rather than pretending they don’t exist or are inconsequential–we can move toward relationships where both partners’ needs are met.

You and your husband come from pretty different backgrounds. What’s the secret for making your relationship work when you and your partner are so different?

Humor, malleability, forgiveness, and humility. We have to be able to laugh at each other and not take everything so seriously. We have to be willing to change because rigidity thwarts transformation.

And, as we all know, no matter how much we love each other, we will hurt one another. By admitting our failures and extending forgiveness, we prevent bitterness and resentment from seeping in. Additionally, when we come from different backgrounds or have different personalities, we have to guard against pride and thinking that our way is superior.

To read the reminder of this article, please click this link to Inc. Magazine.

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