Dear Prince Harry and Duchess-to-be Meghan,

As you exchange your vows on Saturday, please know that people across the globe are celebrating with you. We hope that the two of you will be as happy in 20 or 40 years as you are this week. My husband and I marked our 27th anniversary last week. Since we have spent the last 324 months learning how to love each other well, I’d like to share what we believe are the seven most important components for a successful marriage.

  1. Be truth tellers. Culture recommends keeping secrets. We disagree. When you speak the truth—and that includes owning mistakes in real time—you become trustworthy. Trust fosters deep intimacy in all aspects of your marriage. And in the long run, telling the truth takes a lot less effort than lying.
  1. Lean into your disappointments and learn from them. Though it might be hard to imagine, at various junctures you will feel disappointed with each other. This is completely normal – and to be expected, even. Perhaps His Royal Highness won’t share the keys for the custom-made Aston Martin. Perhaps the Duchess will prefer green smoothies to afternoon tea. When you experience disappointment, there are multiple ways to respond and most of them are unhelpful. My go-to has typically been sulking and manipulation. My husband’s has been cynicism. Rather than reacting, if you trace the disappointment back to the unmet expectation, you’ll get the best payoff. Which leads us to number three…

To read the remainder of this article, please click this link to Liberti Magazine.

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