This season is ripe with paradox.

As I look out my office window, the forsythia is in bloom, fat robins are pulling worms out of the earth, and the temperature is finally edging over fifty.

And yet…

Here in Massachusetts, we are in week five of shelter-in-place and every day, I hear about more friends being diagnosed with COVID-19. According to the CDC, our expected peak infection date is this week.

How do we makes sense of the both and when the line dividing life and death is so sharp that it cuts?

In my experience, we don’t. We simply live in the tension.

Two months ago, few of us had any idea what we were in for. By now, we’ve all heard the horror stories of people gasping for air and dying alone. Because of my age and preexisting conditions, I am the virus’s ideal target—something that gives me pause every time I consider running to the grocery store or post office. The secondary effects are no less catastrophic. Almost 17 million American workers filed for unemployment in the past three weeks alone. 2020 college grads will face a daunting job market. Food banks are struggling to keep up with rapidly rising demands. Domestic violence is soaring.

And yet…

Our resident phoebes swoop back and forth from their newly built nest. The sweet scent of our neighbor’s magnolia tree stops me in my tracks as I walk our dog down the street. Spring has arrived—even if that arrival has been overshadowed by death.

It’s odd to feel gratitude for the witness of new life amidst a pandemic. But even as I pray for the sick and grieve the growing losses, spring, Passover, and Easter all call me into the larger story. The story of a God who experienced death and yet ultimately triumphed over it.

Living in the both and requires a willingness to embrace disparate realities. In one outstretched hand rests an awareness that I could die in two weeks. In the other, a fierce hope that I will live to see many more springs. That juxtaposition leaves me both vulnerable and grateful. From that space, I fully embrace each day as a sacred gift and do whatever is within my reach to bring life and hope to those around me.

Stay well. Love hard.

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